My Purple Song
Chosen
September 4, 2023
I find myself in a similar situation that I never thought I would be – and that is unmarried with no children. You could have never told 16 or even 30-year-old Toya that she was not going to be married with children at the age of 42 – but here we are. If you were a follower of my previous blog, you know my story of singleness but for those of you that are new, here is a quick rundown.
The Fall
August 28, 2017
Monday morning I fell in my shower. My immediate thought was not to laugh, it was not to cry but to look around and wonder who was going to come for me. Truly, my first thought was who was going to yell into the bathroom to see if I was okay. Who was going to come rushing in and help me off of the bathtub floor. Who was there to look out for me? No one – no one was there and it made me sad and until I laid my head on my pillow that night those questions burned in my mind. Who was there?
Angry Black Woman
February 6, 2024
At the age of 9 years old, I had my first experience on what it was to be called Black. I was in music class learning a new song, the Black national anthem and my 90% Black classmates and I were just not getting the song right. My music teacher – one of whom I will never forget due to her not being the nicest person in the world, starting yelling at us in frustration. Moments later, the only words that echoed through my ears were the words – “you people should know this song.”
This is Me...
February 8, 2019
Growing up I was always proud of my black skin. The pure essence of being black made me proud and feel like I could do anything just because by society’s standards I was expected to fail – I have always been a little militant. However, as I looked around and noticed the feature that made me different from other races and even some of my own people I thought made me ugly – my nose.
My Reflection
June 1, 2024
On the morning of March 27th my whole life came to a screeching halt. I sat at my kitchen table with my laptop in que waiting for my endocrinologist to join me for a follow up call. I had some tests done in February and I sat hopeful and optimistic about my future, but I also prepared for the worst. The time came and the conversation lasted only 10 minutes. Those 10 minutes were the longest 10 minutes of my life because after the first minute and a half I wanted to slam the laptop shut, run upstairs and get back into bed but instead I sat there fighting tears. I sat there listening as the doctor told a 43-year-old healthy active woman that she had already gone through menopause. I was devasted and all I could think about was…
